In upcoming posts, I will focus on what I call the deadly “Ds” that can lead to or cause depression. They are #death, disease, divorce, debt, drug addiction, and desperation. In this post, I’ll start with the death of loved ones. In general, to conquer depression, I think it’s important we understand what causes depression and how it can sneak up on us and in some cases leave us immobilized.
The finality of death and separation from our loved ones for eternity can be too much for those who are left behind to endure. Specifically, with death, many may experience the following emotions: denial, disbelief, confusion, shock, sadness, yearning, anger, humiliation, despair, and guilt. They don’t necessarily occur in this order and can be layered one on top of the other.
How each individual reacts to a death varies and there is no right or wrong way to react or grieve the loss of loved ones. Some of the red flags that occur indicating that the mourner needs help are insomnia, recurring thoughts of death or #suicide, excessive sleeping, uncontrollable crying, severe fatigue, loss of interest in life and in doing things the mourner typically enjoyed before the death. This list is not inclusive but are signals that the mourner may be depressed and needs professional help.
There is no way you can rate which type of death hurts the most. The relationship the mourner has to the deceased is very unique and the grieving process, therefore, reflects that exclusivity. My reaction to, and how I grieved the death of my elderly parents were very different than grieving the loss of my stillborn daughter just twenty-five days short of her due date.
As I reflect, what stands out is how life in me could be extinguished, and I was helpless to save my daughter’s life. I remember having questions no one could answer: Did I lay on one side too long? Was God punishing my husband and me? Did she suffer in my womb? Did she gasp for breath? What age will she be when I see her in heaven?
My #minister and the hospital pregnancy-loss group helped me to get through her death. I also sought refuge in walking and taking the words of #King David to heart who had lost his child who he fathered with Bathsheba. He said, “But now he is dead; why should I [continue to] fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him [when I die], but he will not return to me.” 2 Samuel 12:23 (AMP).
His words and his story sank into my spirit and gradually, day by day, I felt a little better. If you are struggling with the death of someone close to you, know there is hope. For ongoing or short-term counseling, click on this link.
You are loved! I dare you to try him! If you like this post, please give me a thumbs up, comment, and brighten someone else’s day by sharing it.