#HowToFindAHusband Step Six: Overcoming #Defenses

Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me—a foreigner? Ruth 2:10 NIV

#LisaFirestone Ph.D., in her article entitled, Why Am I Still Single? 8 Reasons People Often Stay Single, lists Defenses as a reason many individuals are still single. She explains that defenses are used to shield ourselves from getting hurt again. It’s an adaptation she says that can cause us to be “self-protective and closed off,” or to “put up walls.” Dr. Firestone explains that you may even “feel suspicious of people who show ‘too much’ interest in you.”

Ruth questioned why Boaz was being good to her. She asked, “Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me—a foreigner?” Ruth told him that, she didn’t “have the standing of his servants.” In other words, she thought she really wasn’t good enough, the other women were better. Sometimes, because of past experiences, we can talk ourselves out of a blessing. It seems like it’s too good to be true so we may unconsciously sabotage the relationship. We want to get #married, but we are afraid that we will get hurt again,  he’ll leave us for another woman, or people will talk.

Although Ruth was grateful for the attention, she wasn’t convinced of her value. Eventually, with the help of her mother-in-law and God she overcame this barrier. In a later blog, I will explain the steps she took to overcome this barrier. However, before we can get to the #marriage proposal Boaz made to her, and how you can get to yours, those wanting to get married must look at their internal conflicts that are keeping them stuck in a single status.

I would recommend that you start journaling your thoughts about past relationships that have gone bad and choices that you make now. How open are you to someone that is foreign to you? As a Christian do you shy away from someone of a different nationality, race, or religion? You must be honest if you want to overcome your barriers to marriage. Shakespeare said it best, ”to thine own self be true.”

As God’s princess, he wants the best for you. #Marriage is about two imperfect people becoming one. I dare you to trust God with your imperfections and your desires. You will be amazed at how he will bless you!

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